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About Me
Saturday, November 30, 2002
'According to the Gay Test... You are 61% GAY! The typical lesbian is only 45% gay!' Oh Yeah, and damn proud of it. I'm bisexual! WOW is it such a big friggin deal? Hmmmmm well at the moment I would have to be at my most confused peak...uhhhhh. 'Cant you see that you lie to yourself, you cant see the world through a mirror...' - Avril Lavinge. So true. Oh, sitting here with my Candles...update: Tammi, Daz, Liz and Ebony didnt go to the party, they got snobbed off by Tamina and her little friends. Gaylord to the max. It's the jynx I tell ya, THE JYNX....Oooowwww my scratches really really sting...hate them...damn you evil cliff. I'm so bored, i'm sitting here, half way through my Sammy...talking to either Tyrone or Renee...ahh i'm tripping, i never know who's typing out of the two...O_O what the fuck, the shadows are tripping me out...anyway ciao blog. Okay, Last nite's adventurous bush bashing! It all started by us all meeting at Maloney's Beach Shelter...Tammi and Daz and I were accompanied by some lads from Year 9. Hmmmm we decided that we'ld camp at Chain Bay...bigass mistake...we were there for a while, chuffin and shit next thing you know it piss pours...and we have to walk allllll the way back...through the bush and down a cliff!! aaaah! It was so scary...i was full trippin and I rolled from one path to another and scratched my arm really badly...(yes poor baby me)...Tammi, daz and I bailed when we found out that Tilley's mum was gonna ring the cops on us...damn you rat of a mother. 'THE ONE NIGHT WE WANT TO FUCKING GO OUT SOMEWHERE IT HAS TO FUCKING RAIN'-Quote Rubino (a.k.a THE BOSTON STRANGLER) anyway today me and Tammi bummed at my house...but now she's off to Tamina's party with Daz...goodluck to them...i'll sit here sipping my Galliano quietly...CHEERS! Some good Advice: Dont play cricket on the road at 8pm...you cant see a FUCKING THING! "There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea You, became the light on the dark side of me Love remains, a drug that's the high and not the pill But did you know that when it snows My eyes become large And the light that you shine can't be seen? Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey Ooh, the more I get of you, the stranger it feels yeah Now that your rose is in bloom A light hits the gloom on the grey" I lurve that song. Hmmm i've come to realised, i need more real psychological help...aahh who loves a psycho...NO ONE...Kiss my tanned ass goodbye to a love life. What am I going to do when I leave school? Defence Force or Air Force? Hmmm actually i think i'll be safer on the ground and doing a degree in the Arts. Drama rocks ^_^ LOL i'm looking out my window...there's that guy with one arm who walks his dog...i should tell him to clean up the dog shit that his dog leaves on my lawn...! Feeling bored..yup, whats the time now? oh 7:37pm...i started this at like 7pm...hahahahaha, so slow today.....hehe, anyway...seeya! P.S I'm in a girly girl mood! o_o strange huh? Thursday, November 28, 2002
Hello again. Danielle's here right now and we've been down at the beach with Tom. LOL we've found this dog, and it followed us back to my house and now it's wandering around outside my gate...and it has for about half an hour now! Silly dog. Hmmmmmmmmmmm I'm starting to feel better about myself. I've decided I dont care what anyone says....all that I'm focusing on is my new personality...my new posture...and Kane...ack, I love him. I've found out apparently I've told him about this blog, but I dont care if he roars at me for mentioning his name, after all this is a personal blog, who else goes on it? no one at all. Except Tom, but he's special to me so I had to tell him...i want him to know my thoughts and feelings cos he'll try and help me ^_^ I'm listening to Avril...i love her songs, especially Naked, Too Much to ask and Losing Grip. They basically explain me from my past and sometimes present. Heh, i'm so tired. I had dancing today in Sport, which is pretty gay cos none of us got to choose our sport. I've started to quit to smoking...cutting down now...which will eventually lead to quitting...thank god, i know those special people out there that I care about dont want me smoking so i'll do it for them and also for myself. Yer i've also been sitting in my room feeling sorry for myself, yep it's pretty gay, come on, I like my best friend's boss...I'm so shamed, but come on you cant help who you like no matter what they're like to you. Aaaah, I realised I have german work due tomorrow and I havent done it, The troll is gonna ROAR ME!! Fucking oath, i'm gonna deck her when she's an old granny in a wheelchair. Well i'm going to go do some quizzes then go to sleep...HOPEFULLY I WILL DIE IN IT! Oh my, I actually went into town today....scary scary...I havent been there for ages...and surprisingly I went to maccas...ack...I saw some ppl...then came home...with Danielle. We've just been down at the shops buying some chinese...and now i'm bailing...seeya! Wednesday, November 27, 2002
 What sexy girl are you brought to you by Quizilla  What's Your Bedroom Personality? (For Her) brought to you by Quizilla  How Emotional Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Woah, a lot of posts yesterday...lol strange strange....I'm feeling that stange bordem feeling again, I'm listening to Missy Elliot's new song...it's addictive ^_^ Hmmm i've found some nice quotes from 'The Unknown Region' by Eileen Campbell. ahhh let me post some: 'Fear not that thy life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning' - Cardinal Newman 'Remember, friends, as you pass me by, as you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so you must be, prepare yourself and follow me' - From a headstone in Ashby, Massachusetts 'Rain clouds clear away: above the lotus shines the perfect moon' - Seishu 'When I die, what I shall see will be the lustorous moon' - Hayakuri Those quotes are so pretty, especially that last one. I've decided I need a make-over, but i'll make over my soul...no i'm not being a 'cher' from clueless tryhard. It's the truth, i need a new personally, a new life, I need to put everything behind me and completely change. Hmmmmm I have to find someone to buy Reece some Jimmy Beam for the party, but fuck that...I'm over drinking (social drinks are fine)...i'm cutting down on smoking...then eventually I'll quit, it's all helping me re-create myself. Its the first time I ever felt this lonely I wish someone could cure this pain Its funny when you think its gonna work out Til you chose weed over me, you're so lame I thought you were cool until the point But up until the point you didnt call me When you said you would I finally figured out youre all the same Always coming up with some kind of story Everytime I try to make you smile You're always feeling sorry for yourself Everytime I try to make you laugh You can't Youre too tough You think you're the best Is it too much that I'm asking for? Avril Lavinge sure knows what she's writing about.... But then you came around me The walls just disappeared Nothing to surround me And keep me from my fears I'm unprotected See how I've opened up Oh, you've made me trust Because I've nver felt like this before I'm naked Around you Does it show? You see right through me And I can't hide I'm naked Around you And it feels so right My life is pretty fucked right now. I'm like all happy about moving to tassie, but I'm gonna miss my friends i've made here. I'll be able to visit them everytime I come up for holidays...hmmmmmm, so gay...My dad was supposed to come to councilling today, but he didnt the fucked up rat of a dad. How come I cant have a family that actually is there for me and loves me? I think I just wanna be loved, and thats my problem with society...I was sitting in class the other day like humming a song and Andy says 'You really need a boyfriend hey?' and I was just thinking...'Yer I wish'...bleh...I've created a photo collage thing on my wall, I need more photos, I'm gonna go buy some film tomorrow in town after school and then take my camera and go around taking photos all week...Leigh's party is on Friday, then there's Tamina's on Sat, hmm great photo oppotunity! Tuesday, November 26, 2002
 Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You? brought to you by Quizilla  what fucked version of hello kittie are you? brought to you by Quizilla I'm really bored. I think i'll do more tests...so dont blame me if there's piles of shit in here. Anyway... Goodnight, goodnight! Parting is such sweet sorrow. That I shall say goodnight till it be morrow...(yes parting with my blog hurts, it's the only place where I can be me) Me and daz thought we would be like 'Jamie' from 'A walk to remember' and make a list to plan the rest of our lives...or what is left of it. This is my list: 1. Backpack Through Europe And Asia 2. Smoke a classy handrolled cigar while hungover in the gutter 3. Go to the defence force and study 'The Arts' 4. Become an R&B version of Nikki Webster 5. Kick John Howard Up the arse on his daily walk 6. Meet Jennifer Lopez 7. Star In a re-make of Moulin Rouge 8. Have A Better Car Then Taity 9. Paint My Room Purple 10. At 20, Find a certain teacher and kick her up the ass 11. Beat the living shit out of another certain person 12. Work at a zoo and be a carer for a red panda 13. Ride a black stallion on the beach while the sun is setting 14. Successfully astrally-project anywhere 15. Find Kylie Minogue and steal her wardrobe 16. Have hair straightened permenently 17. Have wild sex in a jail cell 18. Fly a jet in the Australian Air Force 19. Stop smoking and then start again 20. Own a property where horses run free 21. Own a ute, grow a mullet and drive in the Northern Territory 22. Marry someone who is an Aries 23. Find Caitwah and give her some pot I owe her. 24. Burn My uniform from Carroll College 25. Be at 2 places at once. 26. Make a medical breakthrough 27. Make Adam Gilchrist Adopt me 28. Tell a certain someone I love them...honestly 29. Find another certain person and spit in their face 30. Own an apartment overlooking the ocean 31. Actually find a boyfriend who isnt interested in sex...(yup I'm a more 'lets hug and kiss' person) 32. Set a world record 33. Model my own designed underwear 34. Find a cure for cancer 35. Join the Air Force or Defence force when I leave school 36. Have sex in a plane while flying to Japan Thats all I can think of right now...i'll add more later. Sunday, November 24, 2002
Let thoughts of you ravage in my heart Let you engulf my mind as some sort of a welcomed plague Let me stay single so every kiss that I partake in Doesn't make me wish it was you standing before me Oh how I long that it was Your eyes that I was looking in, your skin pushing into mine Let our souls be entwined in my fantasies Let me stay awake and day dream in ecstatic thoughts of you Let our kiss knock me on my feet, and make me lose all feeling in reality So I shall stand, and ask where am I? Where am I? Am I dead? In heaven? Let our hands touch so I shall have to pinch myself So I will have to run around with a glow about me Am I not you? Are you not me? Where does one end and one begin? Our flesh will meet as pure and naked as we came into this world We will be one animal Let me think of you and enjoy everything it is And everything I will always wonder it to be Let thoughts of you unravel, because you are going no where Far, close, close, far You are here, I am there, I am there, you are here Do you not feel our heart beat? Do you not feel the earth move? And for this, I am a dreamer I don't find fascination in statistics and equations For my life and yours are made of stories and not atoms Realist? Unheard of! I will die in your arms, or die trying Which ever joy or pain kills me first For joy is pain, and pain is joy that I have found in you A twinkle in the night sky far away....a golden star i gazed apon in my dreams...on a sleepless evening..i sing alone, tomorrow i'll sing with you on the wings of a dream... I just came back from tassie, last night I told Kane I loved him and that he is absolutely amazing....uhhh he's cool about it though (hopefully) we're avoiding eachother at the moment -_-
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