I had the queerest dream! I dreamt that I was sleeping and I got a message from kane saying 'For godsakes I hope you treat paul right' then I woke up, realised it was a dream, until I found my phone in my hand and all my messages deleted! As sam would say 'Hebbys' lol. Yesterday was fun, we went out to broulee and picked up some lads at the beach which one of them is obsessed with Sam...hehehe. I just got back from lunch with Danielle, we went to maccas..*surprise surprise* actually, I didnt really want to be there, but come on Kane was working, hehehe He's sooo hot! Yes and if Renee or Tyrone is reading this here's an important message for you: HE'S HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!!
Anyway I need more sleep, I might sleep at Sam's house tonight. Hmmmm seeya.
Oh my god, I actually have some fucking intelligence
K,
I dont know why I dont just write your full name.
I know you'll never see this, so what's my reason not?
My reasons you see is because your name is so cruel, it hurts just to look at it, let alone write it.
I remember a time I could write it with ease, just because it is so beautiful.
I'd even draw it inside a circle, because everyone knows ciricles go on forever, and that hearts can break.
Why do I love you? I honestly dont know why.
Do you even know how much influence you have over me?
Or how much I love just being near you?
You make my head swim, just to look at your face, or hear one of your cruel remarks that makes me laugh.
And for some reason no matter what you did, you would always make me feel happy.
Looking at your perfect face light up into a smile could give me the chills in the middle of summer.
I hope you remember that night, you know, the one that shouldn't have happened.
The next day I was upset, everyone kept asking me over and over why I was crying, but I was ashamed to say the real reason.
I lied and just said I didnt feel good and wanted to go to bed.
It wasn't all false, there was a bit of truth behind it. I didnt feel good at all, but it wasn't because of what happened.
It was because of you. I cant believe you actually made me believe that you wanted me.
It just made me cry harder because that night was so perfect to me.
Still, that night has played on my mind ever since. I am stuck on you.
All of this thinking has left me so emotionally drained that it has to stop.
I know my feelings will never be returned, and I guess this is why I am writing this.
I know you'll never see this, and I dont want you to. I am writing this to say goodbye to all these feelings I have.
Goodbye to my wishful thinking, and goodbye to my hope.
I cant stand another let down, so truthfully this letter is not to you, only about you.
It's from the old me to the new me as a 'keepsake' of the old days when
I was easily persuaded. Not anymore.
I can't keep going on in that direction because it leads me right back to the begining of a heartache.
I justcant see how love gets so off course.
This isnt farewell to you, not at all, because I know I'll see you sooner or later.
But I have to put these feelings away until I can gather some actual evidence of you caring for me in return.
All this is fake, and we hate fake. Goodbye. Love forever,
Tanya.
3 guesses to who that goes out to..okay the spacing is dodgy, only cos I have limited space here...grrr, Danielle reckons she's figured out why I love him so much, I doubt it though...I'm not mentioning what she said here, because it is not safe here at all.
Wow I havent updated for a while, well here's a string of events that have happened:
Paul's blown me off
Me and Paul got back together
Kane is known as a prick with Paul's friends
Brought some belly rings off Renee
The new limited edition Magnums are arriving
Me and Daz walked from my house, to town, then back to the carni, then back home
Lgt slept at my house
Sam hooked with Taity...awwwww
Daniel drove out to Sam to bring her Tim Tams at like midnight
I got hit by a car and cracked a bone in my arm
Thats all for now, seeya.
About Me
